Why Can’t I…?

As much as I hate to admit it…during this new chapter in my life I’ve developed a nasty little habit. Okay, fine…two habits. The first is becoming addicted to expensive granola bars. Seriously though, Cliff Mojo Dark Chocolate Cherry Almond bars are ahhh-maz-ing. Well, except for the price tag- they’re like $1.25 a piece. Budget-Conscious Ashley doesn’t like this point, but the Starving Post Work Out Ashley usually wins that battle, hence the addiction.

The other habit is much less destructive on my debit card, but makes up for it by attacking my confidence. (Picture me wincing and hiding behind one of my half-eaten granola bars.) My dirty little secret is that I spend waaay too much time comparing. Comparing what, you ask? Oh…you know, just everything that I am, everything I do, even (here’s the real crazy coming out) where I go, what I eat, my hair, my voice, my skin…did I mention EVERYTHING?

I know, I know… comparison is pretty much the worst thing you can do for yourself. Especially when you’re trying to improve your life and stay positive. But, I’ve heard at least, that being self-aware is the first step. Or is it admitting that’s the first step? Oh well, I guess I’ve done both in this post so far. Therefore, today’s life motto is going to be…

Capture

Oh, Theo…you are so spot on with this quote. Comparing myself to anyone will get me nowhere fast. I need to stop looking at other girls and wishing I had their eyelashes, thicker hair, less-freckled skin, brighter personality, better height, or anything else that is just different than mine. Not better, not worse. Just different. Losing weight is a constant battle in the comparison department, too. Why can’t eat a dozen wings and still lose a pound like others I know? I get to eat boiled chicken breasts and broccoli and still gain weight if I don’t work out for hours every day. Comparing others’ relationships to my own failed marriage always ends in disaster. Hell, even comparing myself to my ex doesn’t end up well nowadays. (That’s an entire other post for a later time… no going down that rabbit hole tonight!)

So, I’m going to try and just appreciate who I am, what I look like, the relationships that I have and the people that I love. It doesn’t matter what others have or that they’re beautiful in a different way than I. Wasting time wishing and hoping that I can have something other than what I do is just that…wasting time.

I’ve come to realize that I will only compare myself with one thing – the person I was yesterday and try to be better than that.

 

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