Well, actually in my experience…it hasn’t been that funny lately. But I’ve heard it can be funny? I guess it’s all in perspective.
Honestly, this past week has been a little dramatic, and I haven’t really been sure how to get all of my thoughts down onto “paper” and such. I feel this post will be a little bit more of a hot mess, so just bear with me and keep on readin’ on.
The reason I find it funny that things work out the way they do is because I think I’m a bit self-deprecating. If you know me at all, you will know I will be the first one to be critical of myself, or make a joke out of something ridiculously dumb that I did just to make another person feel comfortable. I love to joke about my height, my weight, my freckles, my glasses, the list goes on and on. It’s not that I hate these things about myself, I just find it easier to make jokes about things I’m embarrassed about rather than have someone think I don’t know that “XX” about me is weird. And, I’m kinda funny sometimes so that makes me feel good. 🙂
But in reality, as I said earlier, things often aren’t that funny lately. For example, why does it work out that I try to be the adult in situations, and I just get taken advantage of? Why do I choose to continue being the bigger person, when all I get is selfishness and disrespect in return? Why do I give 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 1000000th chances, and I am still disappointed by the outcome?
Yes, we all know that I’m talking about my divorce. Yes, we can all tell I’m upset and venting a little. Please understand, I will always use this blog as an outlet to be honest, work through feelings and emotions, and be a support to others going through rough times. I will never be disrespectful, dishonest, manipulative, or just plain mean to anyone on this blog. That’s not encouraging for anyone, even though sometimes it’s all I want to do. I hate looking like the victim and I want to appear strong in my words and actions; but then I always worry about coming across rude or selfish and that scares me even more. I really struggle with finding the balance between the two sometimes.
While wasting time on Pinterest the other night, I found this little diddy, and it is perfect for how I feel 99% of the time. It’s just sassy enough to get the point across, but still respectful at the same time.
I thought this one was more appropriate for the blog than the ones that said, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”. Because, you know, a 5’2″ sarcastic freckled girl with hipster glasses can throw down some fury. Watch out.
Okay, I’m changing the subject to something a little more positive! I feel like I say it a lot, but I seriously have the best. friends. ever. Let me tell you a little story. Before I decided to separate and move out, I was terrified that I would be alone. It’s part of the reason I stayed in that relationship for so long. I thought that I’d be spending countless nights by myself eating frozen meals and then crying into my bowl of ice cream wishing that I had someone other than Sophie to talk to.
This one was pretty funny when it worked out, my friends (and family, but I count them as friends, too) came out of the woodwork to be there for me and show love and support for what I’m going through. Of course, I still have nights at home to myself from time to time, but I am never more than a phone call away from a friend willing to do anything with me. From taking me to Top Golf for the first time and watching me make a fool out of myself to just chilling by the pool drinking too much wine and being eaten alive by mosquitos, brunch with awesome waiters (shout out to Chris at Oddfellows!), late nights playing pool and talking about life, making cupcakes and drinking champagne, random road trips for no other reason than just having dinner together, I could go on and on but everything I get to do with friends means so much. I wouldn’t be making it through all of this stupid drama without some awesome friends.
This whole situation has reconnected me with so many people in my life, it’s a little ridiculous. People I haven’t talked to in decades, teachers from high school, old friends, distant relatives,
In the hardest of times when I start to lose faith, I am always reminded that God answers prayers. My biggest fear of being alone has been crushed with an overwhelming love by so many more people than I could imagine. How awesome is that?! I may live alone now, but I have never felt so supported and “less alone” in my life.
Sometimes…I love how things work out.