Inspiration

This weekend, I had a friend tell me something I’ve never heard before. Maybe people have told me this before, but I doubt it. And, if they actually did, I wasn’t even open to the possibility that they could be telling the truth. You know what she told me?

“You’re an inspiration to me.”

I think I coughed on my Wingstop we were eating at the time. (What can I say? We’re classy women…) I laughed it off and said, “yeah thanks…I inspire you what not to do…?” She reassured me that she didn’t hit her head in the bathroom or add any hidden liquor in her Coke, and in fact, she really meant it.

Please understand, I am trying to do anything but pat myself on the back. In fact, I’m writing this all out to see if it makes sense to anyone else…do we need to have an intervention for my crazy-minded gal? I mean, she seems mostly sane, I think.

Part of the reason it baffled me was that this chick is freaking amazing. She’s a rockin’ nurse, who actually prefers trauma or ICU departments AND works the night shifts. Okay, maybe I’m not helping her sane factor, but I’m telling you, I could not figure out why she would consider a hot mess friend like me someone to look up to. She has an awesome, hilarious husband who is in residency and they make basically a picture-perfect couple. Their relationship is movie-quality romantic, goofy, strong, messy at times, and real. I love being able to participate in their lives.

Our friendship was obsessively close in college. We had the same job for a while (as terrible as it was), we spent countless hours at each other’s places, we planned our weddings together, we talked about our torn-up pasts and our picture-perfect dreams. We wasted afternoons at coffee shops “studying”, and were always trying the latest baking recipe for the rest of our college group. That friendship was seriously what got me through college, I think. Cut to Graduation Day: emotions were tense and we were probably both avoiding our feelings of being separated, but long story short…the friendship was basically cut off (mutually) and put on hold. Fast forward 4 years, and that same amazing woman I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see again reached out to me through all the awkwardness and unanswered questions, and invited me over the very first night they moved to Dallas. Talk about not wasting any time! So, I drove the now familiar roads and found myself almost instantly the best of friends with her again. We laughed, cried, hugged, sweated (we were moving her into her house, okay?), and it was like we never spent a day apart. It was such a good feeling.

So, after catching her up on ALL of my drama, heartache, life choices, new dreams, and goals I now realize I was basically admitting that my life has been a complete mess while we were apart, and  I couldn’t believe she didn’t run away and never look back? Yep. She’s crazy.

ash and candice

Well, I love her crazy. She says that I seem like a different person, a better version of me. Happier, more fulfilled, and enjoying life more. While I totally agree that I am those things…sometimes I feel like it’s all being held together by a thin thread and I don’t want anyone to look up to me for fear of it just coming unglued and falling apart. Oh well, I know she’ll be there to use some Crazy Glue and put me back together. (See what I did there… she’d use Crazy Glue…because I think she’s, oh you got it? Okay.)

The best part is…she hasn’t even started reading this blog yet and she has no idea that I’m telling the world she’s MY inspiration. So, I win. Friend, if you ever do read this post…please don’t punch me the next time you see me. Remember, I know all of the dumb things we’ve done and I won’t hesitate to post about them.

If any others out there consider myself resembling anything close to an inspiration for you…I’m honored. But you may want to get your noggin checked, just saying.

If everything is clear on the scans, and you’re not admitted to a mental hospital, then maybe, just maybe, I’m doing something right. 

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