All the Single Ladies…

Now that I’ve had a realistic amount of time on my own (can you believe it’s been almost 6 months?!), I realize that I’m starting to become very…accustomed to the single life. It’s a very selfish thing. I make all of my own choices, I decide on my happiness, I have to report to no one. It’s glorious.

I spent the past TEN years of my life basing my happiness, satisfaction, goals, dreams, basically everything on another person. Sure, one could say that was my first mistake, but if you know me at all, you know that I function best when I make others happy. I am known as a “people pleaser”. It’s a blessing and a curse.

Since I no longer have anyone but myself to make happy during my day to day life, it’s been freeing. I mean, terrifying…but also freeing. I’ll be honest, I’ve thought to myself a couple of times, “so WHY do I want to have someone complicate this amazing-ness that is my life right now?”. Sure, I get lonely, but the majority of the time it’s seriously SO nice to be able to do what I what, when I want, and because I want to. I shared an article on Facebook recently that made me laughtitled Why It’s Great to Be Single When All Your Friends are Coupled Up…I’d thought I’d put the Ashley-take on a couple of them in this post, but you can also read the original article here.

Your best friends are always on the lookout for your perfect match. 

This one is hilarious because it’s actually true. I’ve had more people say, “what are you looking for?” or “when are you going to date again?”. And, of course, there’s the random, “I found the perfect guy! Let’s have a dinner party and you two can meet!” and “what do you think of THIS guy? (cue facebook photo shoved into my face)”. While walking with friends in public places (the mall, a museum, the fair, pretty much anywhere), I get elbowed in the ribs and directed to give my thoughts on a random male in the crowd. So far, it’s ended at that, but I wouldn’t put it past some of my friends to walk up to said male in the crowd and try to set up a blind date. No, I’m not kidding, my friends are crazy, but they only want the best for me I guess. (Don’t stop friends, I kind of love it!)

Your friends might be secretly jealous of your freedom.

I still can’t believe this one, but I’ve been told this exact thing by several people. Yes, I get to start over with my life. Yes, I get to be selfish and do whatever I want. Yes, I get to choose my future and the possibilities are endless. I’m not denying that these are great things, but just remember that the grass is always greener on the other side. When I look at your relationship-filled lives I see someone who has a best friend for life, a family that has their amazing future already planned out for them. And, never having to brave the shark tank dating world again if it all works out. You are blessed, trust me.

So, I guess after all of that, it’s safe to say I’m choosing to enjoy the “single life”… and yes, I have danced in my apartment to Beyonce’s Single Ladies. Don’t judge me, and yes, I’m still mastering those dance moves. She scares me, I don’t think she’s fully human.

One thought on “All the Single Ladies…

  1. Hey Ashley, forgive the unsolicited comment, but I like reading your blogs. I really do think it’s absolutely not selfish to look out for yourself or think of your own happiness. I think it’s necessary in order to stay sane and healthy. There’s a lot of negativity out there towards people who aren’t willing to bend over backwards every second of every day, and who aren’t willing to sacrifice their eternal happiness so someone else won’t ever have to budge an inch or grow as a person, and it’s unfair. I’m sure there are lots of people who think I’m incredibly selfish, and I’m not really sure, perhaps you may as well. I’ve seen too many people throw their lives away only to come up empty-handed, and I think most of us have experienced it ourselves in past relationships. Sooner or later, most people living in the real world discover that kind of living can’t be maintained long-term. So don’t sell yourself short for refusing to settle for less.

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