Adventures in Online Dating [Pt. 3]

Wow, I’m a week into 2015 and this year has been an adventure already! Between New Year’s, dating, friends, work, and just life in general, week one of this new year/new me is going pretty darn well.

Okay, so it’s also been kind of a mess, but that’s certainly expected in my life…it’s kind of who I am. The following summaries of my adventures are not my brightest moments… dumb decisions, embarrassing stories, and hilarious mistakes. But, this blog is about honesty, and sometimes honesty isn’t pretty, but it is real. I hope you all enjoy my messiness as much as I do, I’m starting to think it’s kind of awesome. 🙂

 

New Year’s Eve was amazing! Usually, I spend the holiday at home in sweats, trying to make it ‘till midnight so I can mumble “Happy New Year” to whoever is around- then immediately pass out. Well, I was determined to make this year count. It’s been my first single New Year’s in over 10 years, and I wanted to party! I had a cute little dress to wear, AND I actually felt pretty good in it (that’s new to me, so you have to realize that’s kind of a big deal!). Long story short: there were drinks, there was laughter, there was midnight, and then, I don’t really remember the rest…whoops (mistake #1). What matters though, is that I have incredible friends who took care of me and I made it back safely to my apartment the next morning with about five minutes to spare before my next engagement.  All I know is that a football game at Cowboys Stadium the next morning was a terrible, terrible idea to agree to (mistake #2). There was way too much cheering, yelling, bright lights, and smelly food. (It also should be noted, a stadium bathroom is pretty much the worst place to be sick…repeatedly.) Just picture me running past people in the stands trying to find the nearest place to safely well, you know. I felt like Kristen Wig in Bridesmaids on the airplane…you know the scene:

wiig

After surviving my first 24 hours of 2015, I decided to log onto the good ol’ dating site and check out who was interested in me (this choice will lead to mistake #3). I read an article that said your best chance of finding someone on a dating site is the first weekend after the New Year. Something about everyone fulfilling their New Year’s resolutions and trying to find someone to date, blah blah blah. So, I figured, why not look around?

Fast forward through several days of talking with a few guys, having some weird conversations…and a couple of nice ones as well, this guy (we will call him…Ryan) asked me out on a date. Yes! I know, a DATE! I played Queen’s We Are The Champions in my apartment, did a few Rocky style winning fist thrusts into the air, and finally said yes (this was mistake #3). After some back and forth banter on choosing a place to go, he offers to meet at Chili’s and gives me the intersection in Arlington. [Side note: for those of you who don’t already know, Chili’s is my all-time favorite place to eat. I have no idea why, I just love it. Their ranch….it’s amazing]. Anyway, I take this sign of him choosing my favorite place as a gift from the gods and now I’m even more excited. It’s meant to be, I think, how could this get any more perfect? I tell him I’ll meet him in 30 minutes and he confirms that he’ll be there.

Blame it on my excited-ness (or my lead-foot), but I arrived in only 20 minutes. Do I get out and wait in the restaurant? Do I wait outside? Do I get a table? Too many options, and, you see, I have this illegitimate fear that I will be ‘that girl’ having to repeated tell the waiter that my friend is on their way and to just give him 10 more minutes, while the ice melts in our drinks and they eventually take the opposite place setting away and leave me alone at the table, looking sad and well, alone. Dramatic, I know.  So, just as an FYI, I texted him that I was there early, waiting in my car, and to let me know when he got there since I was a little early.

No answer.

Hm, that’s a little weird, I thought to myself, but maybe he’s just really into safety and doesn’t text and drive. 20 minutes later, (which was about 8:40, ten minutes past our originally agreed upon meet up time) he answers my text with “little bit of traffic, sorry, are you as nervous as I am?”. Whew, he’s just stuck in traffic. And yes, my nerves are now a frazzled mess at this point. Remember, this is my first potential date in 10 years, and I have no idea how I’m going to do it.

30 minutes go by. Still no Ryan. So, naturally, I send him a text to make sure he didn’t get into a car accident or mauled by a roaming mountain lion on his way to our date. No answer.

I waited in the Chili’s parking lot, in my car, alone, until 10pm.

I did not get stood up. I did not get stood up! Did I just get stood up? Who stands someone up? What’s wrong with me, did I say something wrong? Did I get the location wrong? No…it says right here, I’m in the right place. Did I seriously, freaking, just get stood UP?

Yep, folks, I was stood up. That’s a first. What a wonderful way to get back into the dating world, huh? It was an emotional drive home to say the least…but I made it. Then I finished the jar of Nutella I hid in the back of my pantry for a bad day just like this one. Sometimes, I just love my good ideas. That jar of Nutella had all the answers I needed, not some stupid boy.

The next day, I woke up with a million questions. Did he get into an accident and couldn’t call? Did he even want to go out with me? Why put in several days’ worth of conversation just to stand a girl up? Was he just nervous? Should I even consider talking to him again? My mind was spinning. Ultimately, I decided to not text him and just let it go. Let it just become a good story about a first attempted date.

Then, that afternoon, this conversation happened:

IMG_2207

What. The. Hell. Now, I’m just pissed off. First, not even a sorry?! Second, I now know you’re an idiot because you gave me the exact intersection so there’s no way that we “ended up at different ones”. Third, you didn’t text me because you stood me up.  And I love the last text, his final words a couple hours later when he realized I wasn’t going to play his games. Did he really give ME attitude when he stood ME up? Asshole.

I felt like Cupid (or some evil twin version of that fat baby) just slapped me on the back and said, “Welcome to the world of dating! Have fun!” If I could have, I would have kicked that damn baby into 2026 and snapped every arrow in his quiver. If this is dating, I don’t want to be a part of it…where are my cats and fuzzy robe? Cats don’t stand people up.

But, it’s a new year! In 2015, I now choose to look at the bright side of this adventure: I have a great story to tell and my next first date can’t go worse!

At least, I’m hoping it can’t go worse…I’ll keep you posted.

6 thoughts on “Adventures in Online Dating [Pt. 3]

  1. Ashley! I love reading your blog. Your honesty and transparency is so refreshing! And it is so impressive how positive you have turned that dating experience with Ryan.

    Your story about the “date” with Ryan makes it sound like that wasn’t his first rodeo. I’m going to guess he stands up many women. Can you report him? Or write a bad review of him. It’s crazy that he told you he was stuck in traffic…when he knew all along he wasn’t going to come. I think this guy needs to be banned!

    • I agree Bri! I don’t think there’s a way to report him, but I definitely blocked him and would be happy to write a bad review of him if there was a place to do so. Just as a warning to other girls if nothing else. I need to look into a website for this kind of thing! Haha.

      Thanks for the compliments, I always appreciate reading your comments! 🙂

  2. The flakiness in the dating world is very very real, lol. I haven’t been stood up yet, but had people cancel on me a couple of hours before we were to meet up. Which means someone hotter and more likely to put out became available. The first time it happened, it did kind of hurt! Once, I canceled on a guy because my mom was having chest pain….I think he thought I was making up a lame excuse and using my knowledge of cardiac stuff to do it. I so wasn’t!! I felt bad about it. Happens to everyone.

    That said, the current guy I’ve been talking to actually kept canceling on me a lot and it turned out he is just very very shy and was worried about meeting someone from the internet…..so it was actually pretty adorable once I figured it out, lol. That guy sounds like a jerk though and thank goodness you aren’t dealing with him anymore.

  3. […] I’m assuming/hoping there will be some new readers to this blog and if that’s you- HI! Feel free to browse my past entries, they include lots of embarrassing and (I think) funny stories about all of the misadventures after my divorce. A couple of my favorites are this one and also this one. […]

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