Sure, I’ll take some more pain, please.

No, the title of this post is not in reference to some weird 50 Shades of Grey thing…sorry if I got your hopes up, haha.

I realized this weekend that human nature is a funny thing. I watched myself and several of my friends go through different experiences where we chose to put ourselves in mentally painful situations, repeatedly. At the end of the weekend I was exhausted, I had nothing productive come from my two days off from work, and I thought, “what the hell are we doing? Are we happy being miserable? Do we just want to be unhappy?”

I know, I know…you’re thinking, “What is she talking about? Give us the dirt! We want to hear what hot mess of a situation you got yourself into!” Alright already…but you’re just going to shake your head at the end of it, I’ll say it now: I told you so.

After being in a long term relationship for so long, one could say I’m a little afraid terrified of settling down and getting serious with someone right now. At this point in my life, it’s nice to just have companionship and someone to text or cuddle with when you’re lonely. So, in the midst of online dating/Tinder-ing/whatever you want to call it, I found someone who is pretty cool. We hung out for about 6 weeks or so, seeing eachother a couple times a week, and it was going well. Couple of things to note: we never discussed past relationships (this is big for me, as a huge part of my identity was found in the label of being “divorced”), and also, we never had the DTR (define the relationship) conversation, this led to many nights of confusion and wondering about what we were doing.

Okay, you probably want to stop me here. Looking back, it’s easy to say, “Why didn’t you just ask? You could’ve brought up the past. Etc, etc.” Can I just tell you, easier said than done. I have this thing with wanting to be the “cool girl”…it’s a term that’s very common in the dating scene. As a young woman, you want to be cool enough so that guys are attracted to this mystery and easy-going-ness, but you have to be strong and opinionated just enough so that they know they can’t walk all over you and they must respect you. It’s a stupidly fine balance that is impossible to achieve.

Anyway, I finally broke after 6ish weeks and risked the conversation of “what are we doing because I’m going crazy trying to figure this out without communicating.” (Shocker, I know.) It went surprisingly well, with us both being on the same page of keeping things “casual” and not wanting anything “serious”. We were open to the other going on dates with other people, but if anything became serious, we would let the other know. It seemed like the perfect situation at the time… (cue dramatic music, please).

It’s been almost 3 months, and SURPRISE, this girl now has feelings for the dude. Yep, I said it. Out loud, to the masses, and I can’t take it back now. It’s not like that “can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of stuff”, (props if you caught the 90’s It Takes Two reference, thank you Kristie Alley). It’s just like, you wake up and want to text him (but I don’t), or you catch yourself listening to different music because he introduced you to it. Hell, I even went to a Mexican food restaurant (that didn’t have hamburgers!) for him.

So, now I’m in a pickle. He is still being very casual and I can tell things haven’t progressed in the emotional department for him. My choices: 1. I have to still play the cool girl role and pretend to not want anything more. or 2.  Be honest and risk losing what we do have for something more. That’s a big risk to me, and one I’m not sure I’m ready to take. But, on the flip side, it kinda sucks having to act like I’m less interested than I am and constantly hoping for more, and consistently being disappointed,

The doozie happened this weekend when he said he’d come to a party for my roommate’s birthday. The morning of said party, he asked me what time things were starting, and then said he’d “let me know”. I know, how non-committal. Well, I didn’t hear from the kid again until Monday. He just never texted me about the party, didn’t show up, didn’t call or text, no lame excuse for backing out, nothing. Just a casual text on Monday about his day, like the discussion about the party never existed…I was thinking I was crazy. Who does that?

Quiz time! What did Ashley do in response?

A. Confront him about not showing up to the party.

B. Call him a jerk for bailing and never talk to him again.

C. Answer his text politely and positively about his day and completely avoid the party conversation.

Yep. I did C. I know! This is the part where you’re shaking your head and throwing your fist in the air! Why didn’t I stand up for myself? Why did I give him an out? Why would I let him think that’s okay to treat others like they don’t matter?

Ehh, I don’t know. Why do we, as people, do any of the above things? Why are we okay with being continually hurt by the same person? Why do we pour out our feelings and be honest time and time again, just to be let down as we knew we would be? Why do we pursue friendships and relationships that are only one-sided?

Maybe we are hoping for something better. Maybe we have this idea of the situation being improved or the person being who they could be. Perhaps we think that if we make the same mistake enough times, we will get it through our thick skulls that things won’t change and we should just move on. Who knows, really. I think we each have our own motivation for making the choices that we do, and I’m not one to judge…I for real have had my share of stupid decisions. (See above for the most recent, then all previous blog posts for prior dumb mistakes, haha.

In light of this weekends shenanigans, here’s my quote for the week:

Nora Ephron Quote

Challenge: Accepted

I just completed Day 1 of Juice Cleanse-O-Rama Challenge! (If you missed out on the pre-juicing experience, you can laugh about it here.) First off, let’s just be impressed that I actually did it. There were a few weak moments in there when I almost dove into the snack drawer at work and found some sad, lonely Cheez-It’s with my name on them. Literally, I had to write my name on everything so it wouldn’t get eaten. But, I held out and told those Cheez-It’s to turn on a sad song because no one is coming for them any time soo

I’m not gonna lie, it totally helped to have a buddy doing this with me. Yes, I could say it’s her fault that I’m doing this…and, I may at some low points in my hunger-rage, but honestly, I should be thanking her for inviting me to do this. And, texting all day about juice and the foods we’re missing out on made the day go by a little faster. Plus, sharing funny photos always helps too:

us

I’d say we have some pretty awesome emotions about this juice. All I’m sayin’ is, these pictures could get crazy.

 Surprisingly, I didn’t get hungry until I got home from work at 5:15. Drinking 4 bottles of juice and 6 glasses of water had me feeling crazy full (not to mention peeing every 30 minutes). Fun times. Actually, the flavors are much better than I expected, although still not cheeseburger and fries good. Let’s not get out of hand. (Can you imagine a healthy cleanse where you could just drink milkshakes or eat wings all day? Wow…can you tell I’m hungry? Hahah.) Here’s what stared me in the face all day…and I promise, the staging was NOT intentional, that’s literally just how cliche my life is.

5

The first one was pretty good actually. I was expecting to have to plug my nose and choke these down, but they start you off easy with mostly green-colored orange juice. That second one…the red one, I thought “Oh, yum, strawberries? Nope- it’s beets. Gross. I do not like beets. At all. The third monster is misleading, you think it’s green orange juice again, but surprise! It’s basically celery with cayenne pepper in it. Yikes. And then, when you don’t want to see anything liquid ever again…you get to have another beautiful bottle of green…something. That one was cucumber, not great, but not too bad. Whew, that cayenne…it was a punch in the throat for me.

With this plan, you get to choose your own dinner. Woo hoo! Well, Lauren and I both had ours planned by 10am I’m pretty sure. Unfortunately, you can’t go crazy and have a Big Mac super-sized or anything (I wish). So, grilled chicken and fruit it is!

Stay tuned for more stories and photos as I continue on this juicing adventure!

Adventures in Granbury

Labor Day weekend…actually a pretty ironic name for the holiday where the goal is to do as little labor as possible. But, don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely okay with the irony.  After arriving home from my annual Labor Day Adventure (which I’ll attempt to summarize later in this post), what do I do? Well, since the goal is to do nothing all day today, I did not

Unpack my suitcase…I mean, it’s heavy, and I’m SO tired from having just drug it into my apartment. (Please note the epic struggle of not having a man to do these types of things! 😉 Also note the sarcasm.) It’s messy because I just stuffed all of my clothes, shoes, and all my other random crap in it and there’s a high probability it will literally explode when i touch the zipper. No thanks. I’ll give it a week or two to calm down inside and avoid the risk.

Do laundry…Thank God I have scrubs ready for work all week and therefore, this task can also be post-poned until I run out of clean underwear. That will be at least three more weeks.

Success

Grocery Shopping…yeah, no. Waaay to much work. What would be much more productive? A nap. Done.

My long weekend was spent in the little hill country town southwest of Fort Worth known as Granbury, Texas. And yes, I had to re-Google the location of the city in relation to Fort Worth because my sense of direction is that bad. I actually consider it a talent how bad it is. (Wait, north isn’t always in front of me? Seems like it to me!) So, anyway, here’s the condensed summary of the past few days adventures.

4 days. 3 nights. 11 people. 1 kitten (local resident that was extremely cuddly…miss you already Robert!). 2 pairs of sunglasses. Sunscreen. More sunscreen. Bug spray. 47….yes, 47 mosquito bites (just me…by the way). More bug spray. 1 busted knee. Great conversations with old and new friends. Dance parties. Alcohol. Beer pong. Flip Cup. Hot tub. Sleep (x3). Hangover (x2). Greasy breakfast and aspirin (x2). More sunscreen.

It was so nice to just get away from real life for a little while. I forget how beautiful the hill country can be even though I grew up in similar surroundings. I’ve got a few more ‘firsts’ to add to my list as well!

1. Toured my first brewery! Granbury is home to Revolver Brewing Co., I’ve had several of their beers before, but it was pretty awesome to get to see where it’s bottled. And, for $10 you get a fancy Pilsner glass with 4 beers of your choice on draft! Plus, a giant lawn chair and average cover band equals a pretty great afternoon.

                      10275946_10102347239275767_7649841145512595756_n    10620722_10101656679697493_5711077056906299187_n

2. Vacationed and successfully avoided a sunburn! I’m so impressed with myself I just can’t even handle it. Sure, I got a little red after swimming for a few hours, but it was gone the next day. Success again!

3. Acquired a record number of insect bites. 47 to be exact… mostly mosquitoes, I think. I hope? Apparently, I’m just too sweet. 😉 Yes, I used Off like crazy, but the more accurate name would have been On. I also learned that a spoon run under hot water and then pressed onto the bite takes out the itching! Well, I still consider the spoon a rumor because we didn’t have water that was hot enough. But I was successful in using the freaking hot metal part of the seat belt on my bites and that took the sting right out. Pretty cool, right?

4. Learned a new board game: Rummikub. This game is so fun, but at 3:00am it is the most challenging thing you can do. I don’t think the guy that agreed to teach two girls who were already a couple beers in knew what he was getting into, but then again, maybe he did because he won every game.

4. Injured myself while trying to exercise. Okay, so maybe while exercising we got distracted and walked around houses that were vacant and for sale…limestone stairs are not my friend, I’ve found. Rolled my ankle, busted my knee open and tried to shake it off the mile home. I think it’s a sign I shouldn’t work out while on vacation. I’ll remember that for future trips.

5. Survived my first “vacation” by myself. Packing, organizing, setting up random things like bills getting paid, dog being boarded, time off work requested… it’s all a lot more manageable when you have a partner taking on half of the responsibilities. I am glad that I did everything I was supposed to, didn’t forget anything, or break down while I was there. Success, for a third time!

All in all, it was a good trip! Now… about that nap. Trust me…I’ll be successful at that task as well.

Motivation

I decided to title this post ‘Motivation’ because I think I just needed to see the word staring back at me for a little while. It’s 7:30, and I haven’t done anything tonight. Literally, I just sat on my bed, talked to Sophie and watched shows on my iPad. I haven’t even changed out of my scrubs (ew). Every time I thought about getting up and doing something, you know, being productive…I said to myself:

why

Wow, talk about motivation (or lack thereof, actually). It’s now 8:39 and I’ve written one paragraph. Okay, you with me? Let’s knock this out. Picture me Rocky-style bouncing on my toes to warm up for all this writing that’s about to happen. Yep, any minute now…this post will actually start. I can feel it. I will win this staring contest with my screen. Okay, I just lost the staring contest, but I think it’s because Soph jumped off the bed.

Everyone has an inner motive, maybe some people have many motives. A desire that must be satisfied and is at the root of everything that you do, everything that you say, every relationship that you nurture, every choice you make. Some people want to be right, no matter what. They will do whatever they can, argue about anything, or research any topic just to prove their point. Others want control by manipulating emotions, words, situations, or whatever else it takes to put them at the ‘driver’s wheel of life’, per se.

For me, it’s acceptance. I guess you could call it approval, also. I have this deep, deep-rooted need for people to like me. It’s not that they can’t ever say anything negative to me, or call me out on things, but in the end…I still just want to know that you haven’t given up on me and you’ll still be in my life. Whether you’re family, a friend, a patient, a stranger, my waiter/waitress, phone representative, or whoever…everything I do is motivated by this need for you to approve of me.

It’s sick. I’m not proud of this need, nor do I like for people to realize this about me. yes, I should probably go to see a therapist for it, but blogging is cheaper. I mean, let’s just get into how messed up I am, shall we?

  • I make decisions about what groceries I’m buying because I don’t want the checker to think things about me like, “gosh, she eats that?” or “no wonder she looks like that, she has two pints of ice cream in her cart”. Oh, and if I do make the choice to buy ice cream or something else that’s unhealthy, I WILL wait in the longest line just to get the little old lady to ring me up because I know she won’t judge me. Don’t worry, I’ll still have anxiety the whole time she’s ringing me up…
  • It is a very, very rare sight to see me return food at a restaurant…no matter how bad my order was messed up. And no, it’s not because I just don’t care, that would make it easy. It’s because I’m terrified that they will hate me and talk about me in the kitchen if I ask for my burger to be cooked a little more.
  • I will conform to anyone’s schedule, go along with any plan, and avoid making decisions out of fear that someone will look down on me for thinking a certain way. “Where are we eating?” is my absolute. least. favorite. question. of ALL TIME. If no one EVER asked me that again and just made the decision for me…forever… it would be a great life. (Just no Mexican is all that I ask!) Seriously, deciding what to eat with other people is the bane of my existence.
  • This one’s hard for me to write down because I know just how crazy it sounds: I will actually attempt to act more or less intelligent based on who I’m around, just to make that person feel more comfortable. Causing someone to feel dumb, or that they stick out in any way makes me cringe, and I will do whatever it takes to avoid that feeling. If you wanted to talk about politics and the wars in other countries, I would do my best to make you feel like you were talking to someone that cares about that kind of thing…even though, (shocker) I have no idea what goes on in my own neighborhood, much less another country. But, would I ever tell you that? Nope.
  •  There are many other ridiculous things that I do on a daily basis, but I don’t think you could handle it. I’ll spare you. (And let’s be honest, I think at this point you’d start judging me…and we CAN”T have that, now can we? 🙂 )

I dream of a life where I could use inappropriate hand gestures to the world and say, “It doesn’t matter what you think of me, World, I don’t care!” It would be incredibly freeing. The weight of needing people’s approval… it’s overwhelming at times. I know that there must be people out there like me, people who don’t think I’m crazy. But, for those of you that don’t have this insane need for acceptance, I have two words for you: be nice. Be nice to those of us that have a really difficult time making decisions, remind us that it’s important to have an opinion, be nice when you can see it’s killing us inside that you yelled at the drive-thru lady for taking too long (it’s not always her fault!), and finally, don’t take advantage of us because you know you can get away with it.

Can motives change? Will I have this inner need for acceptance forever? I don’t know. It does have it’s perks: I’d say I’m usually pretty flexible with plans, always up for anything (yes, even Mexican food, if we must). I don’t ask for much, but I’d sacrifice anything for someone. I have great friends, and (I hope) I have very few enemies.

 

So, now it’s 9:12, and I have officially done one thing tonight: write a blog post. I’m going to consider that a success. Take that, motivation!

It’s Funny How Things Work Out

Well, actually in my experience…it hasn’t been that funny lately. But I’ve heard it can be funny? I guess it’s all in perspective.

Honestly, this past week has been a little dramatic, and I haven’t really been sure how to get all of my thoughts down onto “paper” and such. I feel this post will be a little bit more of a hot mess, so just bear with me and keep on readin’ on.

The reason I find it funny that things work out the way they do is because I think I’m a bit self-deprecating. If you know me at all, you will know I will be the first one to be critical of myself, or make a joke out of something ridiculously dumb that I did just to make another person feel comfortable. I love to joke about my height, my weight, my freckles, my glasses, the list goes on and on. It’s not that I hate these things about myself, I just find it easier to make jokes about things I’m embarrassed about rather than have someone think I don’t know that “XX” about me is weird. And, I’m kinda funny sometimes so that makes me feel good. 🙂

But in reality, as I said earlier, things often aren’t that funny lately. For example, why does it work out that I try to be the adult in situations, and I just get taken advantage of? Why do I choose to continue being the bigger person, when all I get is selfishness and disrespect in return? Why do I give 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 1000000th chances, and I am still disappointed by the outcome?

Yes, we all know that I’m talking about my divorce. Yes, we can all tell I’m upset and venting a little. Please understand, I will always use this blog as an outlet to be honest, work through feelings and emotions, and be a support to others going through rough times. I will never be disrespectful, dishonest, manipulative, or just plain mean to anyone on this blog. That’s not encouraging for anyone, even though sometimes it’s all I want to do. I hate looking like the victim and I want to appear strong in my words and actions; but then I always worry about coming across rude or selfish and that scares me even more. I really struggle with finding the balance between the two sometimes.

While wasting time on Pinterest the other night, I found this little diddy, and it is perfect for how I feel 99% of the time. It’s just sassy enough to get the point across, but still respectful at the same time.

Capture

 

I thought this one was more appropriate for the blog than the ones that said, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”. Because, you know, a 5’2″ sarcastic freckled girl with hipster glasses can throw down some fury. Watch out.

 

Okay, I’m changing the subject to something a little more positive! I feel like I say it a lot, but I seriously have the best. friends. ever. Let me tell you a little story. Before I decided to separate and move out, I was terrified that I would be alone. It’s part of the reason I stayed in that relationship for so long. I thought that I’d be spending countless nights by myself eating frozen meals and then crying into my bowl of ice cream wishing that I had someone other than Sophie to talk to.

This one was pretty funny when it worked out, my friends (and family, but I count them as friends, too) came out of the woodwork to be there for me and show love and support for what I’m going through. Of course, I still have nights at home to myself from time to time, but I am never more than a phone call away from a friend willing to do anything with me. From taking me to Top Golf for the first time and watching me make a fool out of myself to just chilling by the pool drinking too much wine and being eaten alive by mosquitos, brunch with awesome waiters (shout out to Chris at Oddfellows!), late nights playing pool and talking about life, making cupcakes and drinking champagne, random road trips for no other reason than just having dinner together, I could go on and on but everything I get to do with friends means so much. I wouldn’t be making it through all of this stupid drama without some awesome friends.

This whole situation has reconnected me with so many people in my life, it’s a little ridiculous. People I haven’t talked to in decades, teachers from high school, old friends, distant relatives,

In the hardest of times when I start to lose faith, I am always reminded that God answers prayers. My biggest fear of being alone has been crushed with an overwhelming love by so many more people than I could imagine. How awesome is that?! I may live alone now, but I have never felt so supported and “less alone” in my life.

Sometimes…I love how things work out.

Life’s Lessons

Well, I survived.

Not only did I merely survive my first (and only?) trip with my soon-to-be ex-husband, I also learned a few key lessons that I’m going to share, because 1) I wish I had learned these before I decided to go on this…adventure, and 2) some of them are quite amusing, even if they are at my expense, so please, enjoy.

Lesson #1

Don’t go on a cross-country trip with your soon-to-be ex-husband. This sounds obvious, right? Well, don’t let the sound of a relaxing vacation to a beautiful location like Vail, Colorado trick you like it did me. Sure…the paid for flight sounds like a dream! But then, you realize you’re crammed into a tiny plane side-by-side fighting for the arm rest for the next 3 hours. Oh, and it gets better! There will also be a guy (not your ex, lucklly) who has forgotten to take a shower for the past week and smells…less than pleasant. He will, of course, choose the seat directly across the aisle from you.

So, on this flight, you make it to your layover city. Picturesque Tulsa. Just as you sit down in your new, carefully chosen seat to get away from BO dude, the sassy flight attendant informs you that there will be an hour delay for take off. Oh, JOY. Nothing can wipe that smile from your face! The thought of sitting in this tin can just makes you giddy inside. Yeah, giddy to get your butt to the BAR.

And that’s exactly what I did. One giant beer later, I was ready for the second half of the flight. Before and after shots were taken just to prove we made it without killing each other:

    2    1

 

Lesson #2 

If you do have to go on a trip with your ex, DON’T make it a wedding. I swear, I am not an idiot. Don’t get me wrong, the open bar/wedding/open bar was amazing. It was beautiful, the bride was super-gorgeous, the weather and location: stunningly perfect and breathtaking. But still, it’s a wedding…and it’s pretty much impossible to enjoy yourself while going through a separation/divorce/trying to be friends/okay, just at least civil situation. The waterworks started the moment John Legend came on and bridesmaids were walking down the aisle. Luckily, the ceremony was outside so the sunglasses were on and I could be a blubbering mess with no one the wiser.

I thought I was a strong, independent, (freaking awesome) single woman now. But, let me tell you, when a beautiful couple is standing in front of all of their family and friends reciting their personal, written vows and promises to each other…freaking Xena the Warrior Princess would have crumbled into a weeping ball of emotions. No woman is that strong. (Maybe Hillary Clinton, but only because I’m convinced she’s a robot.)

Lesson #3

If you do have to go to a wedding with your ex, HAVE FRIENDS ON CALL. We stayed with two really rad friend couples while on this trip, and I would have lost my mind if we didn’t have them around. Also, a fully charged cell phone battery at all times is a requirement. You never know when you need to text someone and look really busy to get out of an awkward introduction:

Stranger or Random Baylor Acquaintance You Forgot About, But Looks Familiar: “Hey, great wedding huh?! Where are you guys from?”

Ex or Ex’s Friend: “We live in Dallas.” (Please note: skirts around the fact that we don’t live together in Dallas)

Acquaintance: “Oh, Dallas, I love that city!” (And the conversation continues pointlessly about random topics…usually how hot it is in Texas, etc.)

Me: Texting furiously to several friends, hoping one will respond and I can avoid any further conversation with this stranger due to the “very important” texts I am receiving…it must be an emergency.

Maybe that makes me a coward, but I was in an emotionally-fragile state at that wedding and explaining my weird, sad, confusing life situation over and over again was NOT something I wanted to endure repeatedly. Judge me if you want.

Lesson #4

Wear sunscreen, lots of sunscreen. Yes, Colorado is one of the most beautiful places I have seen. The beautiful, blue sky will draw you out of your safe, UVA/UVB blocking condo and it will feel amazing being out in nature. Hiking and enjoying the scenery in Vail will be all smiles…until you get home and look in the mirror.

Sunburn

 

Aloe Vera, you are my best friend, so glad we’ve been reunited. You’d think after 26 years of enjoying the sun, then paying for it lobster-style, would make a girl remember to wear some SPF 500. Or, maybe not? What can I say, I’m a work in progress.

 

I got back from my Colorado escapade at 11pm tonight, it’s been laundry and blog-writing till 1AM. Then, off to Austin as early as I can get up tomorrow morning for friend time, family time, and fun. (And alliteration, of course.) Maybe I’ll have a few more life lessons from that trip.

Oh, don’t worry, I’ll wear sunscreen, too.

So, how was your weekend?

“So, how was your weekend?”

That’s the question I always dread come Monday morning. You have to play the game of sounding like you did something interesting, when in reality, you probably just binged watched a season and a half of Orange is the New Black. Who me? No, I didn’t do that either…

So, how was my weekend really, you ask? It was great! There were friends, there was fun, and best of all, there was laughter. Real laughter.

Friday night was spent in the Bishop Arts District… if you haven’t been and you live in Dallas, shame on you! It is so much fun, the people are less uptight than in Uptown, and the food. is. amazing. Eno’s Pizza is one of my favorite new places. Black garlic and heirloom spinach pizza. Ahhh-mazing. And my new favorite beer: Deep Ellum Dream Crusher. Yum, with grapefruit and rye…seriously, so good. I don’t eat much “real” food anymore, mainly just salads and protein bars lately; I guess that makes special treats like Friday night so much more enjoyable.

I learned something else that night, I need to add ‘learn to parallel park’ to my to-do list. I don’t know how I never learned, but it is really a hassle now that I live closer to downtown. I usually have to Chinese fire drill with the other people in my car so that someone can take over parking when we find an open spot.

There are few things I love more in life than a casual night spent with friends. (Really, the only thing I love more is Nutella…but that’s not on my list right now, we’re separated, it was too clingy…always hanging around, I had to end it). Anyway, I really enjoy just sitting around talking about random, usually pretty dumb, things… laughing can be so therapeutic.

I spent Saturday night on a hot date with a real cutie…and, I think its really going somewhere, too. I mean, his bed time is a little early for me so it puts us on a weird schedule, but we can make it work. We talked and hung out for a few hours, then had dinner together. It was a blast!

photo (2)

Okay, so at this point in the night we were two milks in and he was a little more interested in Elmo than me…but I’m telling you, there’s potential here. Caleb and I are best buds, I love him so much! (And his mom, Christine, is a seriously amazing woman/mom/friend/person in general!) Thank you for letting me spend some quality time with him while you and Joel had a night to yourselves!) I successfully put this little guy to bed with no tears…and it gives me a little hope that one day, somewhere in the future, I can be a successful parent, or if that never happens, I can still continue to be a rad pseudo-aunt.

Today was just what I needed: relaxing. Waking up at 10:30, mainly because it was lightly raining so the sun wasn’t pouring in as it usually does at 7:30. The sound of rain was so soothing, and when paired with a cuddly Sophie in my bed, it was nice to just appreciate my life for a few minutes. Then, I went to see a movie that I normally wouldn’t see: X-Men. It was actually pretty good! What was even better was laughing uncontrollably when a 8 year old tripped on a step in front of the whole theater. Don’t judge me, the kid was fine and I think he even laughed at himself when he got back up. His dad and brother certainly did, that’s for sure.

To wrap up my Sunday…a little grocery shopping. Since I now do it alone, the task has become rather interesting. I usually have to climb on my shopping cart at least twice a trip to try and reach something I need. The acrobatics usually work, only once have I rolled halfway down the aisle, knocking various boxes off the shelf…yes, you can go ahead and laugh, I’ll admit that I did while picking up the things I knocked over.

I’m thinking about changing my shopping times to the peak hours when people go shopping for groceries. Maybe then I’ll find a tall gentleman who will happily help me with the top shelf items I need, and then, we’ll grab a coffee together from the Starbucks inside the Kroger and it will be destiny. Haha, well, needless to say these are the things I think about while trying to un-wedge my shoe from the side of the cart. A girl can dream, right?

Bring it on Monday, I’m ready for you.