Did you miss me?

Hey!

I’m back!

‘Old-school’ journal writing just wasn’t cutting it for me anymore, so after much deliberation- I’ve returned to try and entertain you as I shamelessly document the antics of my life on the internet once again.

It’s been a few months shy of 2 years since I left the blogging world and jeez, life has flown by. Like, crazy-scary time-warp-speed flown by. Let’s take some time to get re-acquainted again, shall we? I think some general life updates are in order before I endlessly spew my emotions out a few times a week on here…you know, just so you have a point of reference.

I’m assuming/hoping there will be some new readers to this blog and if that’s you- HI! Feel free to browse my past entries, they include lots of embarrassing and (I think) funny stories about all of the misadventures after my divorce. A couple of my favorites are this one and also this one.

Big Picture Items

  • Still live in Dallas, although now with a significant other and a fur-child (more on that in a minute)
  • About to turn freaking THIRTY in May- and no, I’m not looking forward to it and I’m slightly terrified
  • Lots of changes are happening currently, figured it’s as good a time as any to write about all of it, right?

Relationship Update

  • Still with the ginger from Tinder! (He may also be referred to within this blog as Matt/Matthew/boo thang/beard man/etc.) If you’re new around here and interested, you can read more about how our relationship started and the dating roller coaster in my previous entries, but we are just as happy as ever and recently added a dog to our little family! Welcome to your fur-ever home, Nessa!

photos

Work Life

  • I’ve been working in a major hospital system for the past two years on the administrative side in the Plastic Surgery department, but as of TODAY (woo!) I am now a Practice Administrator for a cognitive behavior therapy practice here just about a mile from our place. I’ll probably post more about this scary leap in the coming weeks as I start my new adventure on Monday. (Wish me luck!)

Healthy/Not-so-healthy life

  • Well, I’m not gonna deny it. I’ve let life take priority and in turn let my attempt at a ‘healthy food and plenty of exercise’ lifestyle fall to the wayside. I’ve definitely gained some weight back. Call it being happy, call it laziness…whatever- the point is, I’m not happy about it. I think part of me hopes that this blog will be a bit of an accountability partner, but mainly I just need to get off my ass and get moving again.
  • Anxiety is something I struggle with still on a daily basis. It’s not as unmanageable as it used to be, but I’m sure I’ll vent from time to time as it rears it’s ugly head. I’m looking forward to working in a mental health career field that I’m passionate about and growing to become a representative in the community. Mental health issues are real. It’s not something that’s attention-seeking, nor something that should be used to shame the people suffering from them. I’ve watched it affect so many loved ones in my life, and I’m determined to play a role in the destigmatization of the issue.

 

Well then, I think I’ve fully reintegrated all of you into where my life is currently. While others are counting down until their wedding, the birth of their child, or their next vacation…let’s begin my countdown to none of those celebratory reasons. Instead, I’ll be turning 30 in:

126 days
lord help me, I’m gonna be an old lady…

 

How I lost my happiness (again) without even realizing it.

I woke up this morning suddenly. The kind of waking up where your eyes literally pop open, staring at the ceiling trying to focus on the little nooks and crevices in the texture above you. I thought about the night before…texting this guy I’ve been seeing for a few months, trying to figure out at 1:30am if he “felt like coming over”. (Insert annoyed emoji face here) As I recalled my conversation from a few hours prior, I tried to shake the feeling of embarrassment I felt after exposing my neediness for company (and then being rejected, mind you), and after realizing how strangely awake I was with only 5 hours of sleep, I decided I needed to go for a run. That always clears my head.

I’d heard from several people about these “nature trails” here in Oak Cliff. Something to note for those of you that aren’t familiar with my neighborhood, it’s…eccentric. Oak Cliff is the kind of community where it’s common to see “OC” or “75208” tattooed on someone’s neck/fingers/other random body part. Don’t get me wrong, it has it’s charms like the Bishop Arts District and Trinity Groves, but overall it’s pretty colorful. All of that to say, I was slightly nervous about going on a several mile hike/run in the woods as dawn was breaking. But hey, YOLO, right? (haha… I hope you laughed as you read that last sentence, because I sure did as I was typing it.)

Seriously though, this adventure was SO incredibly worth it. Words cannot express how clarifying, inspiring, and cathartic it was. I only did about 3 miles, but it was a total body workout maneuvering the trails, climbing over fallen trees, and splashing through creeks. I was disgusting by the time I was done, and it. was. glorious. These pictures don’t even begin to do it justice because 1) I’m a terrible photographer, and 2) I couldn’t focus too much on photo quality so I could avoid getting clipped by mountain bikers.

IMG_2897

I realized several things about running in this new environment:

  1. Running without music – this was a new one for me. Usually I will NOT go without a form of entertainment while I torture myself with exercise. Ed Sheeran, New Politics, and Red Hot Chili Peppers are pretty much all that can get me through a 4-5 mile run on a usual week day. But today I decided to go without music most of the run because it’s easier to hear upcoming bikers as they whiz by you on these tiny trails. I didn’t even realize the sounds of nature I would have missed had I been distracted by my Spotify the entire run. Creeks gurgling, birds chirping in the trees, even just the sound of the rocks beneath my shoes had me feeling all fuzzy. I really felt at peace out there. Crazy words coming from being in the middle of Oak Cliff!
  2. Coordination is not my strong suit – I seriously almost ate dirt (literally) at least 12 times. I should have had someone film me, it was probably extremely entertaining watching me hop over rocks, jump tree branches, slide down crumbling trails so I didn’t bust my face open…I’m hoping these trails will help me learn coordination and muscle control, but I’m sure they will also get a little of my blood, sweat, and tears in the process.
  3. I’ve been avoiding a LOT – Almost halfway into my run I realized how light and at ease I felt about life. All of my anxiety had melted away and I wanted to just laugh and keep hiking on those trails all morning. At the start of my run, I had a lot of thoughts to sort out, and as I ran, the peacefulness of my surroundings allowed me to think through things without all of society’s constant pressures weighing down on me.

I now realize that I am a serial “changer”, as I like to call it. I will change myself, my interests, my habits, etc. all based on the person I’m dating. I won’t really stop liking the things I currently enjoy, but I’ll just put those on the back burner and emphasize whatever fits in with the current person I’m talking to.

“Oh, you enjoy tacos and Chipotle is your favorite restaurant? Me too!”

LIE. I hate Chipotle. I don’t enjoy Mexican food. But if you do, suddenly I’m open to the idea…

“You could watch only Will Ferrell movies for the rest of your life and never be sad again? That sounds like a great idea…let’s binge watch some next weekend!”

LIE. I’ve only seen like 2 Will Ferrell movies…I know, I’m weird. I’m not against them, per say, I just don’t actively seek out trying to watch them…?

“You can’t stand Taylor Swift? Ugh, me either, what a lame talent-less copy cat.”

Again, LIE. I literally have her newest album in my car CD player now. Don’t judge me, the girl knows how to write good lyrics.

I do all of this to be liked and accepted, and it usually works out well for a while. Then, as I realized this morning, I find myself having compromised all of my joy and excitement in life from doing what I truly enjoy…all in hopes for some attention and favor.

You like to lay in bed all morning on the weekends and not get anything done? Suddenly I do too! You enjoy staying up late because you don’t have to be at work at 8am like I do? No problem, I’ll stay up with you! You can’t workout for ______ reason? No worries, I don’t have to run today.

Who am I and what did I do with the girl who was Ashley? The real, happy, genuine, motivated, positive Ashley? I mean, it’s not like I became some completely different person…I was still me, but I just didn’t feel like quite the best version on myself.

Now, I realize that another person you’re dating should make you want to be that better version of you. They should enjoy what you enjoy, push you to work harder, go farther, laugh louder. I don’t want to keep being this way, I want to be me, the real me, with the guy I’m dating.

So here’s to authenticity. Being vulnerable in who you are. Loving yourself and being happy no matter what. And to not giving a shit if they don’t like it. 😉

Sure, I’ll take some more pain, please.

No, the title of this post is not in reference to some weird 50 Shades of Grey thing…sorry if I got your hopes up, haha.

I realized this weekend that human nature is a funny thing. I watched myself and several of my friends go through different experiences where we chose to put ourselves in mentally painful situations, repeatedly. At the end of the weekend I was exhausted, I had nothing productive come from my two days off from work, and I thought, “what the hell are we doing? Are we happy being miserable? Do we just want to be unhappy?”

I know, I know…you’re thinking, “What is she talking about? Give us the dirt! We want to hear what hot mess of a situation you got yourself into!” Alright already…but you’re just going to shake your head at the end of it, I’ll say it now: I told you so.

After being in a long term relationship for so long, one could say I’m a little afraid terrified of settling down and getting serious with someone right now. At this point in my life, it’s nice to just have companionship and someone to text or cuddle with when you’re lonely. So, in the midst of online dating/Tinder-ing/whatever you want to call it, I found someone who is pretty cool. We hung out for about 6 weeks or so, seeing eachother a couple times a week, and it was going well. Couple of things to note: we never discussed past relationships (this is big for me, as a huge part of my identity was found in the label of being “divorced”), and also, we never had the DTR (define the relationship) conversation, this led to many nights of confusion and wondering about what we were doing.

Okay, you probably want to stop me here. Looking back, it’s easy to say, “Why didn’t you just ask? You could’ve brought up the past. Etc, etc.” Can I just tell you, easier said than done. I have this thing with wanting to be the “cool girl”…it’s a term that’s very common in the dating scene. As a young woman, you want to be cool enough so that guys are attracted to this mystery and easy-going-ness, but you have to be strong and opinionated just enough so that they know they can’t walk all over you and they must respect you. It’s a stupidly fine balance that is impossible to achieve.

Anyway, I finally broke after 6ish weeks and risked the conversation of “what are we doing because I’m going crazy trying to figure this out without communicating.” (Shocker, I know.) It went surprisingly well, with us both being on the same page of keeping things “casual” and not wanting anything “serious”. We were open to the other going on dates with other people, but if anything became serious, we would let the other know. It seemed like the perfect situation at the time… (cue dramatic music, please).

It’s been almost 3 months, and SURPRISE, this girl now has feelings for the dude. Yep, I said it. Out loud, to the masses, and I can’t take it back now. It’s not like that “can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of stuff”, (props if you caught the 90’s It Takes Two reference, thank you Kristie Alley). It’s just like, you wake up and want to text him (but I don’t), or you catch yourself listening to different music because he introduced you to it. Hell, I even went to a Mexican food restaurant (that didn’t have hamburgers!) for him.

So, now I’m in a pickle. He is still being very casual and I can tell things haven’t progressed in the emotional department for him. My choices: 1. I have to still play the cool girl role and pretend to not want anything more. or 2.  Be honest and risk losing what we do have for something more. That’s a big risk to me, and one I’m not sure I’m ready to take. But, on the flip side, it kinda sucks having to act like I’m less interested than I am and constantly hoping for more, and consistently being disappointed,

The doozie happened this weekend when he said he’d come to a party for my roommate’s birthday. The morning of said party, he asked me what time things were starting, and then said he’d “let me know”. I know, how non-committal. Well, I didn’t hear from the kid again until Monday. He just never texted me about the party, didn’t show up, didn’t call or text, no lame excuse for backing out, nothing. Just a casual text on Monday about his day, like the discussion about the party never existed…I was thinking I was crazy. Who does that?

Quiz time! What did Ashley do in response?

A. Confront him about not showing up to the party.

B. Call him a jerk for bailing and never talk to him again.

C. Answer his text politely and positively about his day and completely avoid the party conversation.

Yep. I did C. I know! This is the part where you’re shaking your head and throwing your fist in the air! Why didn’t I stand up for myself? Why did I give him an out? Why would I let him think that’s okay to treat others like they don’t matter?

Ehh, I don’t know. Why do we, as people, do any of the above things? Why are we okay with being continually hurt by the same person? Why do we pour out our feelings and be honest time and time again, just to be let down as we knew we would be? Why do we pursue friendships and relationships that are only one-sided?

Maybe we are hoping for something better. Maybe we have this idea of the situation being improved or the person being who they could be. Perhaps we think that if we make the same mistake enough times, we will get it through our thick skulls that things won’t change and we should just move on. Who knows, really. I think we each have our own motivation for making the choices that we do, and I’m not one to judge…I for real have had my share of stupid decisions. (See above for the most recent, then all previous blog posts for prior dumb mistakes, haha.

In light of this weekends shenanigans, here’s my quote for the week:

Nora Ephron Quote

Now what?

Well, I did it. I survived an entire year living on my own. If you know anything about me, you should be impressed. This year flew by, while seeming to take an eternity to do so, if that makes sense at all. I can’t believe how much has happened, how much I’ve changed, and how different my life has become over the past 12 months. I moved out of my apartment on Sunday, and before I could leave cross the threshold out of my door for the last time I literally sat on the floor and cried. Yep, like a big ol’ baby.

I sat there thinking about all the emotions I had moving in: loneliness, heartache, hope for a new future, bitterness, and anger. I cried knowing I worked through all of those things within those four walls. I thought back about when I sat on my kitchen counter (yes, on top of it) and drank wine with friends while talking about how stupid and messed up our lives were. I remembered baking amazing desserts in that kitchen and then eating my feelings in the form of cupcakes/brownies/pie until I was sick. I laughed about all the slumber parties I had with friends in my tiny full-sized bed after too much drinking by my sweet pool.

I really lived in that apartment. Okay, that sounds so cheesy, but it’s actually true. I was a different person when I moved in, I changed my entire life over the course of a year, and I can’t believe that chapter is over. As I was leaving for the last time, it just all hit me at once and I broke down. Everything I was feeling a year ago is pretty much gone (in the best way possible). All of my anxiety, self-doubt, anger, etc. has melted away and I’ve become someone strong and ready to conquer the next chapter in my life, whatever it may be.

After I pulled it together and sniffled my way to the car, I climbed in and thought, “so, now what?”. New chapter, new year, new me…what could life possibly have in store for me next? Well, I’m all too aware that you can’t control your future, but I have a few things I’d like to tackle:

 

Find something to be passionate about. 

I had drinks with a good friend recently and we got on the subject of passion. Naturally, he asked me what I was passionate about. Oh, I know what you’re thinking: easy question! That’s what I thought, too. I proceeding with the following: I’m totally passionate about…you know, that thing…that I love. I do it all the time… how do I describe it, um. EXACTLY. I was so embarrassed when I realized I really can’t say that I have a passion. Sure, I enjoy a ton of things, but nothing really drives me to get up in the morning, nothing pushes me to be more creative, or compassionate, or try harder. Honestly, I think it’s been a fear of mine to throw my entire effort into something, for fear of failure or worse, mediocrity. This year I want to find my passion(s). I don’t know if it will be something as simple as baking, or maybe I’ll grow fond of gardening. Hell, I could go nuts and get addicted to sky-diving! …but I would like to survive the year, so I think I’ll hold back on that last idea.

Focus on relationships.

I’ve spent the past year being selfish. It was intentional, but it went against the core being of who I am. I needed to take the year for me and figure out who I was without a husband, dog, indentity as a wife, or the stigma of being divorced. I spent countless nights alone, specifically after having turned down plans with friends, just so I could contemplate my future and  all those other deep, introspective ideas. This year I want to push myself to invest in friendships, family relationships, and at some point, possibly, just maybe, really be able to pour into a romantic relationship. I’m not the only one going through rough times, and I want to be there for friends and family that were there for me over the past few months. In summary, less inward, more outward.

Try new things. As many as possible.

What can I say, I like to be comfortable. I know what restaurants I like, I know how I like my coffee, I know that I don’t like mushrooms. But I also know that I often take the easy way out and run away from things unknown to me. It’s easier to just say “I hate Mexican food” than actually try different kinds, or even worse, I might grow to like some of it! (The horror…I know.) Actually, over the past few months, I’ve grown to enjoy sushi (like real, raw sushi, lol). I’ve eaten guacamole more than once (and not hate it). I’ve listened to new kinds of music and found new artists to love. I’ve realized the more I branch out, the more life I’m experiencing…and it’s so much better this way. Being open to new experiences and the different things people enjoy, it makes relationships deeper, life brighter, and so much more fun. (Jeez…I’m just a blogger full of sappy one-liners tonight, hm?)

 

I’m really looking forward to this year, actually. I think it’s going to be just as challenging, but in an entirely different way. If I get really crazy, I’ll write another post soon about how many random things I acccomplished on my bucket list this past year…now that would show you how much of an adventure my life has become. Hah.

A Year of Change

Is it me, or is the comma placement weird in this photo?

What a year! Highs and lows. Happiness and sadness. Lessons were learned, mistakes were made. Bridges were burned and new relationships were built. Every cliche in the book pretty much summed up my year. However, I did learn a few incredible things about myself during the past 12 hardest months of my life:

1. It’s okay to put yourself first. 

My whole life used to revolve around making others happy. While it’s true that I’m happiest when others are happy, I also lied to myself for several years about just how miserable I was on the inside. We’re all familiar with the saying “you can’t please everyone”, and I finally stopped trying to prove that statement wrong. 2014 was the first year I can remember that I made decisions that made me happy, and I didn’t care if others agreed or not. It’s such a freeing feeling, not being weighed down by others opinions or emotions. Who cares if you spend way too much money on granola bars or if you haven’t swept your apartment in months. No one, that’s who.

2. If you need help, ask for it. 

I used to be a firm believer in doing things myself and that asking for help was a sign of weakness. I’m not sure if it’s because I lost my mom so early, or some other reason that was imprinted on my brain as a wee one, but I had this crazy notion that I could never depend on anyone. “If you want something done right, do it yourself” was a common phrase in my life. Well, let’s just say in 2014, I needed some freaking help. And turns out, people came out of the woodwork with love, support, and anything else I needed before I even asked. It was amazing. I learned that it’s okay to cry on your best friend’s couch while drinking cheap wine and stuffing yourself cheesecake. And you know what else? They won’t judge you. They may drink some of your wine, but they won’t judge you. I realized that being open and honest about your heartache can lead to healing. Not only for you, but for others as well.

3. I am beautiful.

Okay, I know that sounds conceited, but I swear, that’s not how I mean it. A year ago, I would have never, ever, in a zillion years, considered writing that statement. Me? Beautiful? Hell to the no. Sure, I’m not magazine-cover pretty…I’ll never be blonde, 5’9′, size 2, with porcelain skin and baby blue eyes. But, honestly, I don’t want to be anymore. I like my look now. Freckles for days, bright green eyes, nerdy glasses, sassy bangs, and always great shoes. It doesn’t matter to me if no guy ever takes a second look in my direction, I don’t dress/act/look a certain way for them, I do it for me. I’ve lost 52 pounds (so far!) for me. I spent way too much money on a new little black dress that I feel amazing in (even though I have nowhere to wear it yet) for me. I’m getting a second tattoo for me. It feels good to be comfortable in my own skin. And it feels good to be confident. Boom.

4. Life is messy.

When my life “fell apart” earlier this year, I thought I would stick out like a sore thumb. I quickly realized that no one’s life is perfect. And even more so, if it appears perfect on the outside, chances are it’s a hot mess under that pretty facade. People are fake, lives are confusing, mistakes happen, honesty is rare, and those closest to you may fail you. I’ve come to realize that this is just how life is, just a normal fact. I don’t expect perfection in myself, why did I set others to that standard? I’m learning to love people for who they are, weaknesses, faults, and mistakes included. I can only hope that others do the same for me.

 

Of course I learned many more things this past year, but they all tend to fall into one of the categories above. After everything I’ve been through so far, I can gratefully say, “see ya later, 2014! You kicked my ass, but I think I gave you a run for your money!”.

And to 2015: bring. it. on!

 

Adventures in Online Dating [Pt. 1]

I have been fighting off this cold for almost a week now, and I think it’s safe to say…I lost. I only get sick once or twice a year, but when I do, look out. It’s all sniffles, coughing, runny nose, watery eyes, and the worst headache ever. (Such a beautiful picture right? I thought you’d enjoy it, and you’re welcome.)

When I woke up this morning and realized my nose was completely blocked and I sounded like Lindsey Lohan, I thought to myself, “I just need someone to go get me tissues. And tea, I’d love some tea.” But alas, I am once again reminded that I live alone. [Insert sad trombone sound effect here.]

Maybe you could blame my nose for the lack of oxygen being delivered to my brain, or, my desperate need for a tissue and some peppermint tea…but I decided to try something crazy.

Online dating.

Okay, okay… close all of your open mouths and stifle your laughter. We’re going to go slow here, I’m still not sure I even want to do this, or that I can do this. Right now I’m just thinking I may be stuck in this apartment (tissue-less) for the rest of my days and I won’t be able to meet anyone in public ever again due to this ailment I’m experiencing therefore online dating is now my only option. [Drama is apparently another side effect.]

Well, I have no idea where to start.

Second bright idea of the morning: I googled online dating. Okay, now you can release your laughter. I mean, since when has Google ever been beneficial? Pretty much the only thing I’ve actually learned from it is how to break into my garage with a credit card. Helpful? Yes. Also terrifying that I found that easily on the web? Yes. Anyway, the first few site results are the usuals: eharmony.com, match.com, okCupid.com, etc. Naturally, I start thinking to myself, “what makes this one or that one the best?” I mean, they all claim to be the #1 dating site…but I’m pretty sure it’s just about money, advertising, and oh, more money.

So, naturally, I click on the first link which happens to be eharmony. My plan is to just kind of look around the site, see what there is to do, etc. Oh, and how much does it cost? I’m not super committed to this whole idea of “online dating” yet, so I’m not about to drop any money before I decide it’s something I really want to torture myself with. Well, let me shorten this story by saying the one-month fee is… $59.95! Holy crap. Next, please.

So, instead of scrolling down the list of various websites, I altered my google search to “reviews of online dating sites”. After reading several articles/blog reviews/etc., I decided to try one of the free sites.

At first I thought that if the site was free, it basically just equaled a “hook up” site, but I don’t think that’s true (at least not yet). And that is certainly NOT my plan, let me just make that one CRYSTAL clear.

I’ve decided that I’m going to go with okcupid.com. I’ve read a lot of negative things, but I’ve also heard some good things and that it’s pretty easy to use. I’m just crossing my fingers and hoping that I don’t seriously regret my decision in the next 24 hours.

I figure there’s no harm in at least seeing what happens? I’m taking chances, right? Living life on the edge? Hopefully I’ll just be able to start a conversation or two, and see how it goes. It would take a lot to actually meet someone…but I’m not counting it out completely.

And don’t worry, I’ll be safe! No personal information will be revealed or social security numbers given out. (Unless they’re cute, of course.) 😉

I’ll be back with an update this week… I’m sure you can’t wait to hear all about how making my profile and any conversations go.

 

Eeeeeeek! Here goes nothing! (What the hell am I doing?!)

What A Girl Wants

My last post got me thinking that if I ever do start dating (…’if‘ being the key word there, still a little too scared to actually consider it, but that’s for another post.) Anyway, if I go on a date, do I even know what I’m looking for? What do I want in someone? What’s important to me? I mean, I know the basics: not crazy, not a murderer, etc. I realized I had just settled for so long with what I had in my marriage, that now it’s like the whole word is open and I have the freedom to choose…what a crazy thought, having choices?! Do I want someone type-A, creative, down-to-earth, life of the party, or quiet and mysterious? So many options…but I think I’ve narrowed it down to at least a few of the most important qualities I’d like to have in a relationship:

 

Funny – a great sense of humor is at the top of my list, for sure. I want to spend the rest of my life laughing with someone…when we are eighty, jammin’ out to the ‘oldies’ from the 2000s and still bustin’ out those crazy dance moves we learned when we were young, I want to be able to laugh at each other trying to break it down in the living room. Until one of us fractures a hip, then we’ll use our Life Alert necklaces and laugh/cry until EMS comes and takes us to the hospital.

I want someone who can find humor in the little things. I want to make fun of our kids and embarrass the crap out of them. I expect full-on prank wars in our house, and tickle fights that don’t stop until there are tears (from laughter, of course, I’m not evil).

And, let’s be honest, I’ve got a great laugh. It would be a shame not to make the most of it. 😉

Extrovert – I myself am not, I repeat, NOT an extrovert. I lack self-confidence most of the time, I like to stay home, read, and/or binge watch a new TV show as often as I can. If you see me at a party/wedding/social event, 99% of the time I’ll be in the kitchen cleaning or casually sitting off to the side enjoying my wine and people-watching. While I do enjoy my people-watching, I want someone in my life who will pull me out of my shell, drag me onto the dance floor, and make me do the macarena/electric slide/Thriller until my feet feel like they’re going to fall off.

I want to try new things. I want someone to make mistakes with, try amazing and/or horrible new foods, go to movies that are so bad they’re good, someone to join me on spontaneous road trips with awesome playlists on the way.

Passionate– I don’t care if he loves football so much we have to sit in freezing (or blazing hot) weather every Saturday to see his favorite team. Or, if we have to travel to every theme park in America to ride the best/most terrifying roller coasters. Having a hunger for life is so important to me.

Life is short, and I want to make the most of it. I want to find new passions, make huge goals and accomplish the most I can out of my life. Have someone there to help motivate and encourage couldn’t hurt, either!

 

Sure, there’s always other qualities that wouldn’t hurt to have around:

-being tall (I’m only 5’2″…I need someone who can reach the top shelf at the grocery store!)

-being able to cook breakfast (I am an excellent cook, just not bacon, eggs, or toast, it’s weird I know)

-being ‘punny’ (because a good pun always brightens my day without fail, and I need that in my life)

 

So, that’s that, I know you all were just dying to know what I’m looking for in a guy, but, this is my thinking place. I didn’t write this hoping some guy would read it, get shot in the butt by Cupid, and realize ‘he’s the one for me’, rather I just like to get these crazy thoughts out of my head and organize them into a post that makes me feel not so crazy. Hope you enjoy.  🙂